Cyclone

This is a movie written and directed by Fred Olen Ray. I have it because Michelle Bauer makes a very brief appearance in a shower scene. Unfortunately, I think that because of the "pan and scan" of the picture, she's pretty much cut out of the movie completely. I really could not pick her out. Oh, well.

I'm the first one (and maybe the only one) to actually say nice things about Fred Olen Ray, but this movie is a complete dud. It's missing the sense of humor that Fred usually brings to the party. And also, this movie stars Heather Thomas. I remember her from The Fall Guy or some TV show with William Shatner. While she is an attractive women, she is just a completely unlikable actress. At least she is unlikable in this movie. I've never seen her in another movie.

For the record, "Cyclone" is the name of a futuristic motorcycle that everybody is trying to get their hands on. Heather's boyfriend created the motorcycle, it cost 4 million dollars to make, and it runs on a futuristic transformer that sucks hydrogen from the air. A bunch of thugs kill Heather's boyfriend, and now it is up to her to keep this important new technology out of the hands of the bad guys.

The only bright spot in this movie is a cameo by an old Huntz Hall of The Bowery Boys. He's wonderful. For this stroke of genius, I'm going to be really generous and give this movie a 2. Actually, I have reconsidered, and despite the appearance of Michelle Bauer and Huntz Hall, I've got to give this movie a 1. It's lousy even by Fred Olen Ray standards.

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