In Search Of The Perfect 10

Here's another direct-to-video attempt to extract money from horny guys' pockets. It's shot on video and runs about an hour. It's similar to the Centerfold Screen Test videos or the Best Chest In The West videos. Andrew Nichols, who allegedly was in a soap opera once, is the "star" of this one. He was in a number of these low budget shot-on-video features. He also was one of the main actors in the classic Cafe Flesh. He's running around Hollywood searching for the perfect 10. In order to find the perfect 10, he has created some instrument called the Mam-O-Meter, and he holds it up to women's breasts, and the Mam-O-Meter rates the breasts. He talks a whole bunch of women into taking off their tops. One of them is Blondie, who was a porno actress. It's no fair using porno actresses in stuff like this. Finally, Andrew gives up, not finding a perfect set of breasts. He sulks in his office and Michelle Bauer shows up for a secretary job. He talks her into taking off her top, he checks her out with the Mam-O-Meter, and bingo, a perfect 10, finally.

This is generally pretty tedious. The fast forward button becomes your best friend. Nichols can be pretty entertaining in some stuff, but even he and a parade of topless women are not enough to keep your interest. The one thing that they did do right is rate Michelle Bauer as a perfect 10. Yessiree Bob, they did save the best for last, and that Mam-O-Meter was definitely calibrated properly. By the way, Michelle was in Cafe Flesh with Nichols as well, and they both were in another shot-on-video feature called Night Of The Living Babes. I'm wavering between a 1 and 2 for this one. It deserves a bonus point for recognizing Michelle as a perfect 10, but it really should get a 1. I'll rate it a 1.

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