Roller Blade
This movie is so bizarre and out there that even I could not possibly find the words to describe it. But here goes anyway: It's the aftermath of a nuclear holocaust or something and the location is Los Angeles. There are two factions. One is a convent of bizarrely dressed nuns and one is a bunch of punk loonies whose leader is a muppet and talks like either Beavis or Butthead, whichever is the one that goes, uh, uh, uh, uh. Everybody is on roller blades, including the pseudo-nuns. The landscape and the indoor sets are nothing short of bizarre. There are some amazing visuals in this one, and there's smiley faces everywhere. The muppet creature enlists a female soldier of fortune to infiltrate the nun's organization in order to steal the all powerful crystal (how many movies are there where the goal is to obtain some stupid piece of quartz?).
In one of the scenes, two nuns have been kidnapped by the punk loonies. One is Michelle Bauer and the other one is a woman that usually goes under the name of Crystal Breeze. The punk loonies strip them to their panties and force them to fight each other topless. They really go at it. Hair pulling, the works. It doesn't look like they're faking it. A group of elite fighting nuns raid the loony's place, and rescue them.
By the way, everyone in this movie talks in biblical terms, saying stuff like "Ye verily", "Halt you sinner", and my favorite "Harlot of hate, the sisters of Corb will give thee a bath in holy water, and I'd like to watch." There's a lot of nudity, extreme violence and gore, and a crazed muppet. Other than that, you're on your own trying to figure out what this one is all about. It's one of the more bizarre movies I have ever seen. There's a kid in the movie named Christopher Douglas-Olen Ray and I would have to think that he's Fred Olen Ray's son. I'll give it a 3, I guess.